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A Girl In The Corner

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I Am Real [Sunday, February 4th, 2018 @ 9:14am]
Yea, I know I am over emotional
And I can be extremely melodramatic.
I don't know how to express myself
And I never ask for help

But, I am real

And yea, I can understand the frustration
Not to mention the frestering aggravation
Often times it can even become annoying
Others, resentment is what settles

But, it is real

These emotions, yes, all of them
The feels, the pains, the tears and the laughs
Reality, painted with fresh colors of denial
Basking in perfect delusion, still wet

And yet, still real

I may not understand, or sometimes even want to
The why, the what, the cause, or the reason
Never asking the right questions
Secretly fearing the answered solutions

But at least, I am fucking real. So fucking real.

Maybe too real?
Give Your Heart A VoicePhotobucket

[Wednesday, October 11th, 2017 @ 12:46am]

I've never asked for much
Never needed more than what I got
Never took more than was given

Anything I wanted I worked for
Anything I needed, I got for myself
Everything, for her, I bought

But somehow I was always short
For some reason I never added up
Apparently, I was not enough

Doing it on my own, never a sweat
Doing it along with another, much harder
Doing it together, could be better

But I never ask for much
I never need more than what I got
And I never take more than you can give

Give Your Heart A VoicePhotobucket

Let Me Go, Please! [Tuesday, May 30th, 2017 @ 4:03am]
You need to stop thinking of me, you really do
Because every time you do, I can feel it
And I know it’s not me missing you
Because this feeling is like a message sent
I’m on the outside looking in
I can feel your pain and longerin’

I once told you, we were made for each other
I did not lie, and still believe in it’s truth
Yet, the electricity and passion we created together
Was not enough, as my pain was not disabused
All our years will live on in my soul
But the man I once loved, I let him go

Our souls cry out, over the cool night sky
Longing for the pieces to fit again
I listen and hear, but dare not reply
For this battle, that war, I can no longer contend
Another time, another place, another life
For as much as we were wrong, we were also right

I still feel you missing me, reaching out for me
My heart silently aches in your pain
I need you to stop, please, let me go, let me be
My love, my growth, by you, will no longer be detained
Give Your Heart A VoicePhotobucket

Failing Falling [Sunday, November 27th, 2016 @ 11:16pm]

What are theses feelings that I'm feelin
What have you done to my soul?
No one was supposed to get in
No passage, no entry, no toll
I can't feel this again, no, not again
It's terrifying and exciting all at once
But I know, what's next to come
As much as I want it I cannot accept it
If I don't have it then you can't take it

Give Your Heart A VoicePhotobucket

I Must Resist Falling for You [Sunday, April 24th, 2016 @ 11:40pm]
I am but a human being
Subject to irrational feeling
Basic human reactions
Caused by normal human actions
A touch of care and love
Cannot be just enough
Let it go, let it grow
Only then will you know
At first sight, a futile dream
Fooled by what it seems
These feelings, as true as they feel
Are not always real
Just basic human reactions
To normal human actions
Give Your Heart A VoicePhotobucket

Aloha Happiness [Sunday, April 11th, 2010 @ 12:44am]
You broke my heart, I wanted to cry
You did it again walked away with a simple sigh
The third time I did cry
The fourth was the last time
Now I’ve just lost count
Dreaming what this could be about
Stuck in a fantasy of a reality
That I will, I say, see
This is more than you with me
This is what I need to be free
Getting dizzy swirling around
I want you you want me
I love you you love me
Bout to be sick
Gotta find solid ground
You will never not be apart of me
You wanted me happy
I need me happy
I thought I was

Give Your Heart A VoicePhotobucket

Thinking On It [Saturday, November 28th, 2009 @ 1:30am]

So I sit there and ponder over and over
And I'm thinking on the best choice to make
None of which any seem any bit better
When my head and heart are in a different place

How sad it is to say good-bye
A piercing shot straight through the heart
But with all that pain, I must'nt cry
Makin the sorrow ever so sweet as we part

Exploring for the true definition of friendship
Or re-arranging the pre-designed line
Unable to moderate this relationship
The final ending demise will be that of mine

Deeply devoured also twice as nice
Consumed by love and affection
I can convince myself this is right
And one day maybe it will be my perfection

Stumped by the absence of level ground
However stingily reluctant to comprise
Absolute mind, body and soul sound
Crash and burning in a blatant lie

Either way I wont be happy
Still stuck with no sense of moderation
In the end I want all or nothing
Emotional switch inapplicable situation.
Give Your Heart A VoicePhotobucket

Dreams [Monday, October 12th, 2009 @ 12:33am]

I awaken from a dream of you

To you

Misguided and untrue

Are you

Asleep awake dreaming

And you are all I’m seeing

Awaken with no recollection

That was my dreaming perfection

Each state of mind has been altered

My motives rendered

In REM is where you belong

But I can touch you, wrong

I dream of the moment

And right then I’m awoken

Awoken from a dream of you

To you

Misguided and untrue

Are you

A dream dreamt of you

A dream that can never come true





Give Your Heart A VoicePhotobucket

An Emotional Collision [Wednesday, July 8th, 2009 @ 4:38am]
She yells and scream, kicks and swings
I don't know how much more I can possibly take
I hold it back and try to relax
But the frustration continues to grow.
Everything I don't, is everything I know
But what can possibly make her stop?
She looks at me, tear filled eyes.
And there the truth to all the lies.
The highs are high and the lows are low
My heart is filled with so many emotions
I can't even sort them
The love, the hate, the fear, the pride,
The passion, the frustration, the laughter, the cries,
Its like an emotional collision
Give Your Heart A VoicePhotobucket

Soul Soother [Wednesday, July 8th, 2009 @ 4:34am]

Come lull me, come sooth my soul
Rhythmic emotions expressed in words.
Bleeding thoughts on love smeared paper
And hate drenched templates scream to be heard.
Papers soaked with droplets of thought
Reveal an ink stained heart.
Soothing rhythmic words,
Lulling touch of whispers
Kiss my heart, kiss my eyes
Lull me with your lullaby.

Give Your Heart A VoicePhotobucket

The Affiar [Wednesday, July 8th, 2009 @ 4:28am]
[ mood | guilty ]

Overtaken emotions, lost hopes and dreams
How can I fight these feelings?
You cannot give me what's not yours
It was promised and accepted already by your Mrs.
Now here I stand before you in your eyes
Hopelessly loved as a tainted surprise.
There can no longer be what never actually was
This marks an end to what once was us.
I can no longer indulge in that which is not mine.
Our dysfunctional feed must end at this time.
I pray for the strength to keep this permanent
I hope for the best on the final judgment.

Give Your Heart A VoicePhotobucket

I Can't Get You Outta My Head [Wednesday, July 8th, 2009 @ 4:25am]
[ mood | amorous ]

Sometimes I can read you like an open book
Everything you do, everything down to your look
I try to keep myself at a distance
I wonder if you sense my resistance
Its not that I don't want you
Its just that I am afraid to
Too many times I've ventured down this path
Too many times I've fallen flat on my ass
Love with out feelings my new philosophy
But that surly did backfire at me
Now I'm here thinking of you
I smile, you know every time I do
But I can't help but wonder your true intentions
I feel consumed by all these emotions
Confusion and fear overwhelm my thoughts
What I have been avoiding is the very thing I sought
How confused I must be to throw it away
How dysfuntioned I must be to think I'm okay
I wish I knew what to do from here
I wish you knew more my dear.

Give Your Heart A VoicePhotobucket

Sinful Seductions [Wednesday, July 8th, 2009 @ 4:18am]
[ mood | Consumed ]

It’s hard to define the connection we share
It’s even harder to fight it.
The electricity that runs thru my veins,
Jumps out of my body whenever you are near.
 
Every touch and soft whisper ignites the passion within.
I’m lost to it, unable to control.
I cannot say “no” and mean it
I’m lost and consumed in it, yours and my sin
 
My mind and soul are damaged though
And I cannot make the repair
The damage is irreparable.
Intentional diversion to prevent myself growth?
 
This sin's foundation is based on a true understanding
Both on which we stand.
We provide one another with
An outlet, a release, an escape without ever leaving
 
This impoverish of one another’s souls and emotions
Has gotten far out of control
I’m lost to you as you to me
Feels like we are the only two drowning in this ocean

Give Your Heart A VoicePhotobucket

Pity Party [Tuesday, July 8th, 2008 @ 4:44am]
Let’s have a party folks
A pity one at that
Let’s go and I will host
Just imagine that

Let’s have a pity party folks
And all of you are invited
And there we will laugh and joke
About the life that I have

You will all pity me
You will tell me I am great
You will tell me you want to be me
And have the life I hate

I will sit there and mope
And you will pick up the pieces
You will say I will cope
And I will give you the reasons

I will list all the things
I hate about life and myself.
I will tell you all my dreams
That never will become a reality.

And there I will say I hate my life
And there you will say I have so much
And there I will scream I want a life
And there you will say I have one!
Give Your Heart A VoicePhotobucket

My Breaking Point [Tuesday, July 8th, 2008 @ 4:42am]
I just needed to feel it bleed
I couldn't see, I couldn't find me.
Lost in a sea of tears,
Buried by a mountain of fears.
Life's not worth living
All this shit that I'm taking.
I can't dream of any better
When all I see is a nightmare.
Strangled by these ties
Hoping to feel alive.
Holding to what seems like nothing
Fantasizing it's something
Why can't you see? Why can't you feel my cries?
When I'm standing here right before your eyes
I can't hold it anymore
I can't close this door
The draw-bridge is dropped
This flood cant be stopped
Catch me when I fall
Hard, and I will
If your not up for the job
Step aside so that I can try to deal.
Give Your Heart A VoicePhotobucket

[Tuesday, July 8th, 2008 @ 4:41am]
Here it is now, plain and simple.
Nothing left but a little ripple
The water now so calm and mellow
But what about tomorrow?
I lost you now and probably forever
But I want you to know that I will never
Forget you.
Give Your Heart A VoicePhotobucket

Tainted Rose [Tuesday, July 8th, 2008 @ 4:36am]
Beautiful, crimson rose
Tainted from head to toe
Devoured by love and hate
Lost in emotional state.
Sliced to breathe,
Blinded to see
Lost to touch by either you or me.
Heart so pure, full of hate,
Cut to see the pain.
Tips so cold and numb
Core comfortable, always warming up.
Slumber closed, deep and safe,
Then the world appears and life's to face.
Petals branched, reach for love,
Outstretched, craves the sun,
For guidance to the light
Because darkness is only in sight.
Soil infested with bugs and disease,
Up your roots and to your leaves,
Suffocates the air you breathe.
Yet you still continue reaching.
Rain and wind tear you up
And you still do not budge.

Beautiful, crimson rose
Tainted from head to toe,
Bleeds with my soul.

Written December 24, 2004

Give Your Heart A VoicePhotobucket

I Have Forgotten How to Swin [Tuesday, July 8th, 2008 @ 4:33am]
I love your lies and beautiful tales
But what makes you believe it's real?
When I am lost in your eyes,
I love your lies.
I close them though, to sleep at night
And I am awoken to a terrible fright.
These dreams are all the same
Nothing, has changed. Not a damn thing!
I can't lose my self, not again.
I want to give you all of me, but I won't jump in.
I will not drown again.
Give Your Heart A VoicePhotobucket

Justification [Tuesday, July 8th, 2008 @ 4:31am]

I can't sort these emotions and I don't know why

Because I am enabled or I'm afraid to try

I stare into the mirror

And pull him closer.

Why am I afraid to stand alone

And why is it he that I hold?

I don't do it when I do because I want to

I do it because when I do I don't

And I know just as easily as it is for me to break his

It would be for him to break my heart.
Written Tuesday, 29 July 2008
Give Your Heart A VoicePhotobucket

[Monday, December 20th, 2004 @ 10:50pm]
You hate me because you know I'm right,
You hate it because it's all time.
I can see through your eyes,
The core of your lies.
A heart has been tortured
A soul has been ruptured.
I'm not here to uncover your lies.
I'm not here to solve your cries.
I'm here to stand by your side,
To hold your hand throughout our life
I'm here to help you to the ground as you fall,
And sit there with you as long as you want.
I'm here to show you on thing, if anything at all.
That I might not be able to catch you, but I'll be there when you fall.
Give Your Heart A VoicePhotobucket

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